brown study

i'm totally procrastinating

2011-09-20T22:48:00.000-07:00

i'm supposed to be translating some gosh, awful print ad for ebay right now, but i'd rather write this short excerpt about the things i felt today.

the weather has gotten suddenly brisk over the past few days here in korea. although it does feel a little chilly, the hodgepodge of the weather and beautiful korean scenery mesh together to make my commute back and forth from work absolutely wonderful. when i stare out the back seat of my mentor teacher's car, i'm able to notice the changing pigment of the rice patties.
every march, hard-working korean farmers plant thin, green rice stems into the muddy grounds of what probably makes up about...65% of korean land. i kid you not. of course at this time of the year, it looks rather ugly and mundane. but as months pass, you can see the rice seeds pop out of those measly stems that seemed uber flimsy. they're actually easy to overlook as they turn a brighter green in the sweltering heat of july. but when you look out on sunny, slightly colder days like today, you notice a beautiful canvas of tan and light green painted across the vast farmlands of korea. place them next to tall, green mountains and you got the picture of every TaLK scholar's commute. i think this is by far one of my favorite experiences of teaching in a shigol school. i invite you to see it for yourself. hopefully you can feel the serenity and warmth that i feel every time i look outside my mentor teacher's hyundai on the way to work every day.

have a good one! and let's always work hard and do the best we can because we as humans always have this uncanny ability, whether intentional or not, to affect others through our work.

hope to hear from you soon, whoever you are. 안녕!

Oasis

2010-07-09T17:31:00.000-07:00

After my experience at Oasis two summers ago, I vowed never to return again. But somehow, God wanted me there again this summer and I'm starting to see why.

First off, I love my kids! The first week, I just thought that they were alright. But now, I'm starting to see how much I really love and care for them. In a nutshell, all I can say is that, I've never met a group of kids who were so well behaved and good. Granted, they have their complaining moments and one of them is a little rebel who annoys me at times, but they're all so good at heart. The other day I couldn't help but think, "my kids are great! they're going to be so awesome when they grow up! I'm so excited for them!" Other people may not see them the way I do, but I can't help but feel that that is how God sees us. Even though we're all broken and completely worthless because of our sin, God views us in a way that makes us all worthy of his attention and love.

The other day, one of my supervisors asked the little rebellious one in my group what he wanted to be when he grew up. When he replied that he wanted to be a lifeguard, she genuinely and supportively said, "that's awesome, Jonathan. You can be anything you want in life, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise." There was no judgment at all. Maybe it was just the genuineness in her voice, but that simple statement helped me realize that I want to be a person that can encourage and support these kids in becoming whatever they want to be in the future. In fact, I want to be that kind of high school guidance counselor in the future. Despite the limitations and impracticality of some students' ambitions, I want to be a kind of person that can instill hope in the youth.

Yes, some high school students are not going to be fit enough to get into some colleges and universities, but the moment that a student tells me that he or she wants to go to a certain school, I'm going to try to do every thing in my power to help my student achieve that. Who am I to say that a student cannot achieve something when at one point in time we were totally incapable of receiving an amazing thing called grace?

Also, even though it's only been two weeks, I'm starting to see how some of my coworkers have my back. Today one of the parents was pretty rude to me and my coworker backed me up. I appreciated it a lot. I think I'm going to make some good friends here.

korean deuh rah ma.

2009-11-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

once in a while, i get sucked into some drama, put off all my school work, and get really giddy about korean things. this is one of those times.

darn you, dramas. darn you..

genoise anyone?

2009-07-10T10:08:00.000-07:00

hm

2009-06-24T13:40:00.000-07:00

Woah.

2009-03-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

It's already past the mid-semester point.

Blessings blessings blessings.
I've been showered with them today.

Meeting up with one of our volunteers, Carrie Hartman, has been amazing. She's really a beautiful woman that chases after the heart of God. I'm so lucky to have the opportunity to meet up with her and learn about so many things. It's been so comforting and challenging.
Carrie and her husband, Dave, have a heart for world missions. Right now, she's looking to head over to the Middle East with her husband within the next few years.
She also has two younger sisters that are adapted from China. It's so cute the way she talks about them. She has the desire to adapt a child in the future as well. Now she's looking to start up a new program with the Binghamton community, trying to educate people about missions.
Oh, and she's a nurse both at a hospital and in home care. I don't know how she juggles it all!
I feel incredibly blessed to be nurtured and taught by such a great woman of God.

God has also been planting in me a greater desire for world missions. I never really thought that the mission field would be somewhere that God would call me. But lately, I get so excited and antsy to get out of school and actually go out in the world to spread name of Christ.
It's crazy...the U.S. is such a reached country that you can actually hear people throw the name, Jesus, around all the time. You can hear it through media, cusses, and Christians--it's totally a common thing.
I always thought that my role would be to stay within the U.S. and focus on church planting/building, but I'm totally wrong. I'm not sure that this is life-long commitment that God is calling me to, but all I know is that there is such a huge need out there in the world. Jesus will not come again to this earth until every nation is reached! So what am I doing sitting on my butt when people out there need to hear that name proclaimed??

I've also been so so so wrong about living in Mountainview.
It always made me cringe to think about evangelizing in this community because it's so darn hard when people just stay in their suites with their doors closed all the time. I even confess that I'm just as guilty of it. But today when Winnie and Sara were cooking in the downstairs kitchen, some random guy just stood there and was making the longest small talk that he ever could. To be quite honest, I was actually annoyed because he kept asking me so many questions when I had to read my play for acting class. Then we started talking about Christianity and the idea of sin and holiness. It was crazy how his annoying questions actually turned into a topic that I was captivated by. He totally got my attention.
It was amazing how easily the conversation flowed.
He wasn't angry or totally rejecting what we were saying, but was actually really receptive and conversational. After talking to him for about 30 mins, I think he realized that everything that we were saying was a lot to take in at once so he kind of left in a hurry.
It was an amazing feeling though. The way that God totally opened a door for us to share the gospel. Mountainview is actually a place where outreach can be done.
We're praying that by the works of the spirit, that young man's heart will be changed.
Please pray for us too.

"I caught a glimpse of Your splendor
In the corner of my eye
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
And it was like a flash of lightning
Reflected off the sky
And I know I'll never be the same"
- Third Day

Aloha

2009-01-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

Monsoon - Jack Johnson
I absolutely love it here.
I haven't visited the beach yet or done any of the real touristy things, but I enjoy the atmosphere and the people. Above all, I really like spending time with my grandma. It's a different kind of experience spending time with her here. Whenever she comes to NY, she doesn't seem that happy most of the time because she feels trapped in a home where she can't really go out on her own or do all the things she wants to. But she's in her own element here, free and independent--it gives me peace to see her living happily.

My grandma also lives in a retired home complex. It's cute because all the senior citizens leave their doors open and circle each floor to get exercise. The style of architecture is really pretty here. Everything has open ceilings. That sounds funny, let me explain. Imagine looking down on a rectangular-shaped building from the sky and having only the borders of that building being fully roof-topped. There's also palm trees in the middle of the building so it's nice to see that kind of scenery when you walk out and leave your home.

One of the most beautiful things that I've been privileged to experience so far is to be awake enough to watch the sunrise every morning at 7am. Don't worry, I don't get up that early every morning, but my body is still running on NY time so it's actually around 12pm there when I actually wake up. I also knock out at 10pm here..haha I feel so old.

The bus is actually really cool too. You can go practically anywhere on the island and it's not like the MTA where the buses only come like every 40 mins. It actually comes like every 5 mins and the fares are super cheap. My grandma only pays $30 a year for unlimited, yearly use. I, on the other hand, have to pay a womping dollar everytime I get on. Haha just kidding. It's an awesome fare compared to the MTA.

I'm actually sitting outside my grandma's apartment door outside right now. It's the only place where the internet signal strength is strong enough. Yesterday, when I was doing video chat with my family and recording video messages on facebook, the granny's were staring at me like I was crazy because I looked like I was talking to my laptop. But some of them are really friendly as well. I guess it's rare to see young adults in this building.

Witnessing this all makes me want to come here after retirement. I know it's a long time from now, but who's with me?!

I can't fall asleep..

2009-01-12T03:39:00.000-08:00

Simply Nothing - Shawn McDonald
Blagh...it's 7AM and I still haven't been able to fall asleep.
I hate the feeling of tossing and turning. It's like one of the most stressful situations that a person can be in while being half conscious and half unconscious. Hahah that sounds funny.

Being at home this break has been good. It's been a blessing to have so many things readily available at hand. I thought that it would be really boring due to Binghamton's long winter breaks, but it's been joyously eventful.

However, it's hard to think that I've been fed spiritually while attending my dad's church. Understanding sermons in Korean is not my forte. I never realized how much of a privilege it was to hear God's word preached in English or at least in a way that I understood. Also, how much of a privilege it is to worship with a community of believers.

From attending the revival on Friday, I think learned that I simply don't try hard enough in seeking every possible opportunity of being fed. There's so many resources out there that I put to waste. If only I keep thirsting after him while embracing every resource that is out there, my spiritual hunger is bound to be satisfied in some way or the other. And if that doesn't work, it's my shortcomings of understanding His amazing grace.
I continually fall in love with the fact that God always breaks us to a point where we need to fall on our knees and cry out to him for help. There really is no better way to put it--there's beauty in the broken.

Okay, I have a plane to catch in a couple of hours to visit my granny in Hawaii. Maybe I'm too excited to fall asleep.

already?!

2008-12-15T14:10:00.000-08:00

i run - forty days
Wow, I haven't updated since August. Haha reading my old posts about camp is a funny feeling. It feels like it was soo long ago. One thing I do miss about the summer is my tan. I'm back to Snow White. booo

I can't believe this semester is already over.
I remember thinking in the beginning of the semester that it was going to be the most long and painful one, but now that I reflect back on it, it's been the fastest.

This school year has definitely been full of blessings.
It's so comforting to know that the type of sufferings that God gives us are always ones that are meant for us grow. He is too good of a God to give us something that we can't endure. He knows about our capabilities and inadequacies too well.

I think the biggest struggle for me this semester was to remember the lessons that I've learned with my heart, rather than my mind. As Christians, we grow up hearing and learning about who God is--that he is a loving God, a powerful God, someone we should put our trust in. It's so easy to remember those things with our minds, but it's so hard to actually remember them with our hearts when we're put in a place of suffering.

Apostle Paul writes to the Philippian church,
"Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you." -Philippians 3:1
I love how God uses Paul to write this message to us. He acknowledges that we forget too easily and uses scripture as a means for us to fall back on. God is a loving God, in which he knows that his people are incapable of remembering the things that he teaches to us over and over again, so he gives his word to us. Goodness, how stupid we are as sinners.

I'm learning how to accept and adapt to the path that God gave me as a pk. I can't fully say that I enjoy this lifestyle considering the troubles that come along with being one. But he placed me in this position for a reason and it's my duty to glorify him in this situation just as much it is in school where I serve him most.

First Westminster catechism: The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.

2008-08-15T04:21:00.001-07:00

I just woke up from a 13 hr. long-night sleep that started at 6 PM last night. How crazy is that?! I'm utterly shocked by the bear inside me at times. My body just loves to bury myself in the Korean blankets that I own and go into hibernation.

I had the weirdest, most awkward convo with my co-worker yesterday. I asked her about what she does outside of the camp and here is how the convo went
Co-worker: I own a website
Me: Oh, cool. What kind of website?
Co-worker: Um..an adult oriented website.
Me: Oh......I see
Co-worker: Yeah, mostly the adult toys. We sell the toys and the videos.
Me: Oh... (by this point I am so uncomfortable)
Co-worker: Yeah, in the fall, I'm going to start in the production side. I'm thinking about housewife situations. You know, with people like the UPS man or mailman. So I'll actually be there on the set producing it.

How mortified I was by this conversation. I hope I don't have another one like this again.

Oasis

2008-07-05T21:51:00.000-07:00

The first week of camp is complete!
I have the 5-6 yr. old group and my, oh my, are they so tiring. They also have the craziest allergies. One of my kids is allergic to wheat and dairy. Another is allergic to red food-dye. But here is the most crazy/absurd one. On the second day of camp, I noticed that one of the boys was breaking out in some kind of weird rash. I sent him to the nurse and didn't see him the for the rest of the day. The next day, my supervisor comes up to me and tells me that I can't be around the kid if I'm sexually active because he supposedly breaks out in hives whenever he is around pregnant women.
So this kid is allergic to pregnant women. How freakin' crazy/absurd is that?!!?

Hehehehahahoho. One of kids also has an Indian accent. I know that its horrible, but its hilarious to hear him talk sometimes. Its funny how accents can develop at such a young age. I wonder if I had a Korean accent when I was younger. My mom told me that I used to talk in Korean at pre-school because I didn't know how to speak fluent English.

On another note, I now have all sorts of crazy tan lines. Neck tan, rolled-up shirt tan, sock tan, speedo bathing suit tan. Yup, I've got it all. I never realized how detrimental the sun can be. Spf 70 is the way to go!

bye xanga...

2008-06-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

Before people started using blogspot or any other kind of blog, I kind of swore to myself that I wouldn't succumb to other blogs, that I would forever stay loyal to xanga. But even after post after post, xanga just does not seem the same anymore. So here I am, kind of kicking myself that I made an account to blogspot, but somewhat happy because I don't have to blog in the obsolete xanga world.

I can't believe work is starting in a week. I feel like my whole summer is ending already. Even though my job didn't even start yet, I'm already dreading it.

Haha...its so crazy how high schoolers are just ending high school, meanwhile I've already been out of school for a month. I kind of miss high school. Senior year was definitely fun with all the nonsense school-cutting. One time in January, my friends and I stupidly decided to cut school on the coldest day and head into the city. As we were walking past the NBC building, some girl stopped us and asked if we would like to be a part of a live audience. We went in somewhat excited and curious, but then as we sat down, we realized that we were on one of those Montel-like shows. The host's name was something like Dr. Keith Ablow?? Anyway, it was seriously like a PG-13 version of Jerry Springer. As soon as commercial break came on, we bounced out of there so quickly. Hahaha I cringe every time I see a commercial for that show now.

edit:
Hahahahah I was completing my staff training course on my computer and I kid you not, this was one of the slides. Hahahaha I couldn't stop laughing.