Aloha

Monsoon - Jack Johnson
I absolutely love it here.
I haven't visited the beach yet or done any of the real touristy things, but I enjoy the atmosphere and the people. Above all, I really like spending time with my grandma. It's a different kind of experience spending time with her here. Whenever she comes to NY, she doesn't seem that happy most of the time because she feels trapped in a home where she can't really go out on her own or do all the things she wants to. But she's in her own element here, free and independent--it gives me peace to see her living happily.

My grandma also lives in a retired home complex. It's cute because all the senior citizens leave their doors open and circle each floor to get exercise. The style of architecture is really pretty here. Everything has open ceilings. That sounds funny, let me explain. Imagine looking down on a rectangular-shaped building from the sky and having only the borders of that building being fully roof-topped. There's also palm trees in the middle of the building so it's nice to see that kind of scenery when you walk out and leave your home.

One of the most beautiful things that I've been privileged to experience so far is to be awake enough to watch the sunrise every morning at 7am. Don't worry, I don't get up that early every morning, but my body is still running on NY time so it's actually around 12pm there when I actually wake up. I also knock out at 10pm here..haha I feel so old.

The bus is actually really cool too. You can go practically anywhere on the island and it's not like the MTA where the buses only come like every 40 mins. It actually comes like every 5 mins and the fares are super cheap. My grandma only pays $30 a year for unlimited, yearly use. I, on the other hand, have to pay a womping dollar everytime I get on. Haha just kidding. It's an awesome fare compared to the MTA.

I'm actually sitting outside my grandma's apartment door outside right now. It's the only place where the internet signal strength is strong enough. Yesterday, when I was doing video chat with my family and recording video messages on facebook, the granny's were staring at me like I was crazy because I looked like I was talking to my laptop. But some of them are really friendly as well. I guess it's rare to see young adults in this building.

Witnessing this all makes me want to come here after retirement. I know it's a long time from now, but who's with me?!

I can't fall asleep..

Simply Nothing - Shawn McDonald
Blagh...it's 7AM and I still haven't been able to fall asleep.
I hate the feeling of tossing and turning. It's like one of the most stressful situations that a person can be in while being half conscious and half unconscious. Hahah that sounds funny.

Being at home this break has been good. It's been a blessing to have so many things readily available at hand. I thought that it would be really boring due to Binghamton's long winter breaks, but it's been joyously eventful.

However, it's hard to think that I've been fed spiritually while attending my dad's church. Understanding sermons in Korean is not my forte. I never realized how much of a privilege it was to hear God's word preached in English or at least in a way that I understood. Also, how much of a privilege it is to worship with a community of believers.

From attending the revival on Friday, I think learned that I simply don't try hard enough in seeking every possible opportunity of being fed. There's so many resources out there that I put to waste. If only I keep thirsting after him while embracing every resource that is out there, my spiritual hunger is bound to be satisfied in some way or the other. And if that doesn't work, it's my shortcomings of understanding His amazing grace.
I continually fall in love with the fact that God always breaks us to a point where we need to fall on our knees and cry out to him for help. There really is no better way to put it--there's beauty in the broken.

Okay, I have a plane to catch in a couple of hours to visit my granny in Hawaii. Maybe I'm too excited to fall asleep.

already?!

i run - forty days
Wow, I haven't updated since August. Haha reading my old posts about camp is a funny feeling. It feels like it was soo long ago. One thing I do miss about the summer is my tan. I'm back to Snow White. booo

I can't believe this semester is already over.
I remember thinking in the beginning of the semester that it was going to be the most long and painful one, but now that I reflect back on it, it's been the fastest.

This school year has definitely been full of blessings.
It's so comforting to know that the type of sufferings that God gives us are always ones that are meant for us grow. He is too good of a God to give us something that we can't endure. He knows about our capabilities and inadequacies too well.

I think the biggest struggle for me this semester was to remember the lessons that I've learned with my heart, rather than my mind. As Christians, we grow up hearing and learning about who God is--that he is a loving God, a powerful God, someone we should put our trust in. It's so easy to remember those things with our minds, but it's so hard to actually remember them with our hearts when we're put in a place of suffering.

Apostle Paul writes to the Philippian church,
"Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you." -Philippians 3:1
I love how God uses Paul to write this message to us. He acknowledges that we forget too easily and uses scripture as a means for us to fall back on. God is a loving God, in which he knows that his people are incapable of remembering the things that he teaches to us over and over again, so he gives his word to us. Goodness, how stupid we are as sinners.

I'm learning how to accept and adapt to the path that God gave me as a pk. I can't fully say that I enjoy this lifestyle considering the troubles that come along with being one. But he placed me in this position for a reason and it's my duty to glorify him in this situation just as much it is in school where I serve him most.

First Westminster catechism: The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.

I just woke up from a 13 hr. long-night sleep that started at 6 PM last night. How crazy is that?! I'm utterly shocked by the bear inside me at times. My body just loves to bury myself in the Korean blankets that I own and go into hibernation.

I had the weirdest, most awkward convo with my co-worker yesterday. I asked her about what she does outside of the camp and here is how the convo went
Co-worker: I own a website
Me: Oh, cool. What kind of website?
Co-worker: Um..an adult oriented website.
Me: Oh......I see
Co-worker: Yeah, mostly the adult toys. We sell the toys and the videos.
Me: Oh... (by this point I am so uncomfortable)
Co-worker: Yeah, in the fall, I'm going to start in the production side. I'm thinking about housewife situations. You know, with people like the UPS man or mailman. So I'll actually be there on the set producing it.

How mortified I was by this conversation. I hope I don't have another one like this again.

Oasis

The first week of camp is complete!
I have the 5-6 yr. old group and my, oh my, are they so tiring. They also have the craziest allergies. One of my kids is allergic to wheat and dairy. Another is allergic to red food-dye. But here is the most crazy/absurd one. On the second day of camp, I noticed that one of the boys was breaking out in some kind of weird rash. I sent him to the nurse and didn't see him the for the rest of the day. The next day, my supervisor comes up to me and tells me that I can't be around the kid if I'm sexually active because he supposedly breaks out in hives whenever he is around pregnant women.
So this kid is allergic to pregnant women. How freakin' crazy/absurd is that?!!?

Hehehehahahoho. One of kids also has an Indian accent. I know that its horrible, but its hilarious to hear him talk sometimes. Its funny how accents can develop at such a young age. I wonder if I had a Korean accent when I was younger. My mom told me that I used to talk in Korean at pre-school because I didn't know how to speak fluent English.

On another note, I now have all sorts of crazy tan lines. Neck tan, rolled-up shirt tan, sock tan, speedo bathing suit tan. Yup, I've got it all. I never realized how detrimental the sun can be. Spf 70 is the way to go!

bye xanga...

Before people started using blogspot or any other kind of blog, I kind of swore to myself that I wouldn't succumb to other blogs, that I would forever stay loyal to xanga. But even after post after post, xanga just does not seem the same anymore. So here I am, kind of kicking myself that I made an account to blogspot, but somewhat happy because I don't have to blog in the obsolete xanga world.

I can't believe work is starting in a week. I feel like my whole summer is ending already. Even though my job didn't even start yet, I'm already dreading it.

Haha...its so crazy how high schoolers are just ending high school, meanwhile I've already been out of school for a month. I kind of miss high school. Senior year was definitely fun with all the nonsense school-cutting. One time in January, my friends and I stupidly decided to cut school on the coldest day and head into the city. As we were walking past the NBC building, some girl stopped us and asked if we would like to be a part of a live audience. We went in somewhat excited and curious, but then as we sat down, we realized that we were on one of those Montel-like shows. The host's name was something like Dr. Keith Ablow?? Anyway, it was seriously like a PG-13 version of Jerry Springer. As soon as commercial break came on, we bounced out of there so quickly. Hahaha I cringe every time I see a commercial for that show now.

edit:
Hahahahah I was completing my staff training course on my computer and I kid you not, this was one of the slides. Hahahaha I couldn't stop laughing.